Broken Scars Read online

  Cover Design and Formatting: Just write. Creations

  Editing: Joanne Thompson

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  Broken Scars (A Standalone Novel)

  Copyright 2019, J.M. Walker

  *This book contains dark themes including sexual assault and past child abuse*

  DEDICATION

  THANK YOU

  PLAYLIST

  PROLOGUE

  ONE

  TWO

  THREE

  FOUR

  FIVE

  SIX

  SEVEN

  EIGHT

  NINE

  TEN

  ELEVEN

  TWELVE

  THIRTEEN

  FOURTEEN

  FIFTEEN

  SIXTEEN

  SEVENTEEN

  EIGHTEEN

  NINETEEN

  TWENTY

  TWENTY-ONE

  TWENTY-TWO

  TWENTY-THREE

  TWENTY-FOUR

  TWENTY-FIVE

  TWENTY-SIX

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  TWENTY-NINE

  THIRTY

  THIRTY-ONE

  THIRTY-TWO

  THIRTY-THREE

  THIRTY-FOUR

  THIRTY-FIVE

  THIRTY-SIX

  THIRTY-SEVEN

  EPILOGUE

  BONUS EPILOGUE

  BONUS SCENE

  NEXT RELEASES

  ABOUT

  Melinda.

  This book is for you.

  First off, thank you to my readers for your patience. This book has been six years in the making. Lucas Crane has been a side character since my debut novel, Break Me. I didn’t know much about him then but now that I’ve written his story and knowing that he’s finally happy, it’s like a sense of peace has washed over me. I wrote this story for NaNoWriMo last year. I lived and breathed this book and wrote it in a month. That’s over 90k words in 30 days. And boy has it ever been a ride since.

  Joanne Thompson: THANK YOU. Seriously, thank you thank you thank you. I threw all of my issues, my Alpha/beta notes at you and you helped me make this story so much better. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done but know that I appreciate you.

  Angie, Christina, Jennifer and Melissa: Thank you for reading this story and giving me all of your feedback. I know how hard it can be, reading a book in the raw and providing tips and advice and so on. So I love and appreciate you!

  My readers. My Jems. Just everyone! Thank you for being excited for this story. I can’t wait to take you on this crazy journey. Lucas Crane has definitely earned his right to that happily ever after.

  Melinda: You fell in love with Lucas right away. I even sent you the first few chapters of his super old story that was a hotmess. AND when I gave up and moved on, you still stood by me and waited patiently for him. I’m SO happy to be able to finally give him to you. Again.

  Everyone else: Thank you for reading and for helping me spread the word on this book!!

  https://open.spotify.com/user/jmwlkr/playlist/4afQC6D4MJo6SYZOcx4lbt?si=eHvXutLrT-S7KomvFCQQhg

  Lucas

  SEARING AGONY RIPPED THROUGH me. My muscles shredded from my bones. Flesh ripped free, tearing and separating as the abuse only worsened.

  It felt like I was being torn up by an animal.

  My limbs trembled. My skin became damp with sweat.

  I tried forcing the evil away, but it only made them hurt me more.

  Blue eyes stared back at me. They were filled with pain, pity, and fear. So much damn fear. And then that smell. Those damn delicious roses. The scent was sweet. Almost like honey. They contradicted the atmosphere I was stuck in.

  Blonde brows narrowed, those big round eyes pleading for me to stop putting up a fight.

  I looked away as the screams shattered through me. As much as I did everything I could to fight off my attacker, my begging only heightened the violence laid upon my body.

  “Please.” My voice, so young, so innocent. One word was all it took. One syllable was all that was needed to make the pain worsen. I wasn’t sure how that was even possible, but it was, and it happened.

  “Next.”

  A sob left me as a new attack was bestowed upon my body. What felt like a lifetime later, the heavy weight on top of me lifted, taking all of my breath with it.

  “You did well, Lucas.”

  The scent of roses suddenly became stronger, making my eyes roll into the back of my head.

  “So fucking well.”

  I turned my head away from the voice. Tears no longer fell down my cheeks. My body no longer hurt. I was numb. Completely and utterly numb.

  My mind was broken. I was gone. Far past the point of shattered. My soul, if I even had one anymore, hid and shied away in the corners. The Devil himself would look away at this depravity.

  Gentle hands roamed over my body, soothing the ache that had been permanently etched into my soul. Salve was rubbed into my skin. My cuts were bandaged. I was cleaned, fed, and put back in my cage like the rest of them.

  Animals. Pets. That’s what we were. All because my adoptive parents had an addiction. For hunger. Power. Money. Control. It was all about control. Over people smaller than them. One slap was all it took to force most to their knees. But me? No, I was bigger. It took a lot more than a slap to force me to submit. And I paid for it. I always paid for it.

  I vowed from that point on that I would do whatever I could to rid the world of monsters like them.

  Even if I died trying.

  Lily

  WIND WHIPPED AROUND ME. I shivered. It was the middle of summer, but Mother Nature decided to play a trick on us and bring fall early. I hated this weather. Give me a beach any day over this. God, what I wouldn’t give for a vacation.

  Closing my coat tighter around me, I picked up my pace. I only lived a few blocks from the restaurant and thought it would be a good idea to walk. But clearly Mother Nature had other plans for me. I stopped, glanced around me, and realized rather quickly that I was lost. Great. This just made a shitty night even worse. My grandmother was going to kick my ass if I was late and didn’t tell her. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

  So dumb, Lily. So dumb.

  No, I wasn’t dumb. He was the one who was dumb.

  “Lily, we need to talk.”

  “We’re here, having dinner. You don’t really need to tell me that we have to talk.” But we did. I couldn’t continue seeing him. Killian Hayes had been convenient at a time when I was lonely. That was it.

  “No.” He smiled gently. “We really need to talk.” His dark eyes flicked back and forth, searching my face. For what, I wasn’t sure, but I could sense that he was about to lay a doozy on me.

  “I…” He took a deep breath. “I lo—”

  “Killian Hayes.”

  Both of us turned to a man coming toward us. He was stocky, with light brown hair and a day’s worth of scruff on his strong jaw. He looked to be no older than Killian. “Sorry to interrupt.” The man smiled down at me before glancing back at Killian. “But I needed to say hi. It’s been way too long.”

  I let out a slow breath, thankful for the interruption. My relationship with Killian wasn’t going anywhere anyway but this man sh
owing up was clearly a sign. It saved me having to tell Killian that I didn’t return his feelings.

  “How’s it going, Andrew?” Killian mumbled, not taking his eyes off of me.

  “Good.” Andrew’s smile grew. “How’s your wife?”

  My eyes widened. “You’re married?”

  “Lily.” Killian reached across the table for my hand.

  “I gotta go.”

  “No, please.” Killian shot up from the table. “Let me explain.”

  I had dumped cash on the table to pay for my meal and bolted. I didn’t think the relationship was that serious, but I had never anticipated that he’d be married. Fucking, asshole. Killian hadn’t been that good in bed anyway. I was more embarrassed than anything.

  My grandma had warned me too. She only met him a handful of times but didn’t like him. She also thought that he had been hiding something.

  Yeah, a wife.

  Not that she ever liked any of the guys I dated but this one was different. She warned me, but I didn’t listen.

  Letting out a frustrated sigh, I pulled my coat tighter around me. I had dressed nice for Killian. Something had been off with him, so I thought wearing something sexy would spark that moment we shared months ago when we bumped into each other at the library. I thought for sure he would have been a good guy. He was FBI after all and we met at the library. I was wrong. So very fucking wrong.

  And now I was lost. I wasn’t even sure where I was anymore. Not recognizing this part of the city, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw a sign about a block away.

  Crane’s Ink.

  Alright, I could live with that. Anything was better than being outside. Especially in this area. Hightailing it across the street, I was thankful I reached the door just as the rain started coming down even harder.

  The door chimed, indicating my arrival. I pushed it closed, fighting against the wind that had picked up speed.

  “Snap” by Slipknot played in the background. It was loud enough that I could feel the bass down to my bones but not too loud where a normal conversation couldn’t be carried.

  “That’s some weather out there,” a woman’s voice said. “I haven’t seen it this bad in quite a while.”

  A man grunted.

  “It’s supposed to be summer out.” She sighed.

  “Alright, you’re all done, sweetheart.”

  My stomach tumbled at the smooth, deep voice. I turned around, finding a large man sitting on a stool beside a bed. A woman was sitting up, holding her shirt against her chest.

  “How does it look?” she asked, meeting my gaze.

  “Um…” I took a step toward them. “Wow.” The tattoo was on her back. It was the image of a tree, partially covered with leaves.

  “The leaves falling off the tree mark each month I’ve been sober,” the woman explained.

  I counted eight. “That’s amazing. It really is beautiful,” I murmured in awe.

  “I’ll clean you up,” the man said.

  I took a chance and looked at him then.

  Even sitting, he was huge. With a buzzed head and an eye patch covering his right eye, he was dangerously beautiful. Tattoos covered his thick forearms, inching down to the back of his hands. Even the side of his head I could see was tatted up.

  His good eye met mine. He frowned, licking along his full bottom lip. He gave me a curt nod before going back to the woman sitting on the bed. He cleaned up the tattoo and placed a bandage on it before tapping her hip. “You’re good to go, Lena.”

  “Thank you,” she said, giving him a quick hug.

  My stomach twisted. I looked away, not sure about these feelings rushing through me.

  “Same time next month?” the man asked.

  “Yes. If I make it that long.” The woman, Lena, put on her shirt and headed to the counter.

  “You say the same thing every month.” The man went to the computer sitting on top of the counter. “You’ll be fine.”

  “I’m glad you have faith in me.”

  “I always have faith in other people,” he said. “Fifty.”

  She pulled out a wallet from her purse and handed him cash.

  “Pleasure doing business as always.” He winked.

  She laughed. “See you later, Lucas.” She walked up to me, smiled, and left the tattoo shop.

  Lucas. God, even his name was sexy. I fought not to roll my eyes. I really needed to get it together.

  “I guess I shouldn’t loiter and probably buy something,” I finally said, needing to break the unnerving silence.

  Lucas grunted, stuffing the cash Lena had given him into an envelope and placed it in what I could only assume was a locked safe in a drawer. Because that’s what I would have done.

  “Do you sell jewelry?” This conversation was beginning to turn…odd. A man had never affected me the way this one was currently doing.

  Lucas’s good eye met mine. “You don’t have to buy anything.” He shut the cash register and came toward me. Crossing his arms under his broad chest, he stood beside me and stared out the window.

  The scent of spice wafted into my nose. My core clenched, my palms becoming sweaty at the close contact. He smelled amazing. God, did he ever smell amazing.

  “The weather might be like this for the next couple of hours,” he said, pulling me from my dirty thoughts. “Is there anyone you want to call to let them know you’re safe?”

  Was I really safe? This man didn’t scare me, but he was huge. He was a beast and I knew with one flick of his wrist, he could break me. A shiver tremored through me at the thought. But there was something in his gentle demeanor with the client that stood out with him. I was curious to find out more about this large man.

  My gaze flicked to the clock hanging on the wall. “I’m good.” I still had an hour before my grandma expected me home. If I was still at this place, I would call her then.

  “Well…”

  I looked up at him. “Lily.” I stuck my hand out. “Lily Noel.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Lily Noel.” He returned the handshake, slipping his fingers in mine. “Lucas Crane.”

  My breath caught in my throat. The longer time passed between us, the heavier the air became.

  “Hmm…” His lips twitched and that was when I saw them. Scars. They were faint, but I noticed them. His brows narrowed, and he pulled away.

  It was on the tip of my tongue to ask what had happened to him, but my grandmother taught me better than that. It would have been rude. Especially when I only just met the guy.

  “Did you want a coffee?” Lucas asked, disappearing into another room off to the side and coming back a moment later with two steaming mugs. “It’s just black.”

  “That’s perfect.” I took the coffee from him. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, Lily Pad.”

  I laughed. “Lily Pad?”

  “It works.” He smirked. “Doesn’t it?”

  “I guess so.” My cheeks heated at the nickname. Oh, it worked alright. It worked really well.

  ***

  (Lucas)

  While I made another coffee for us both, I couldn’t help but watch her take in my home. Even though this part of the place was my business, my apartment was on the second floor. I had lived here for years, so all of it was home to me.

  Lily walked through every inch of the shop, taking in the pictures on the blood red walls.

  “All of those images were drawn by me,” I told her.

  She paused, passing me a quick glance before looking back up at them. “They’re beautiful.”

  I grunted. “Not many people think they’re beautiful.”

  “They don’t?” Lily came around the counter and jumped up onto it, swinging her legs back and forth. “Well I think they are.”

  My heart swelled at her compliment.

  She fussed with her light brown curly hair and pulled it on top of her head into a bun. She had a smattering of freckles on her nose and cheeks. Her full red lips were plump. When s
he was done putting her hair up, she tightened her coat around her. The jacket fell past her knees, but I had a feeling most jackets would. She was a tiny little thing. But curvy. So damn curvy it made my mouth water.

  My gaze popped back to her face.

  Her bright green eyes met mine. “What?”

  “Nothing.” I cleared my throat and went back to making the coffee. I lived for the stuff, so I had made sure to have a little coffee area on the back counter. It was accessible whenever I needed a fix.

  Once it finished brewing, I poured Lily a mug and handed it to her.

  “Thank you, Lucas.” She grabbed it from me and brought it up to her mouth. She took a sip, letting out a low moan that shot right to the tip of my dick.

  Fuck me. I hadn’t had this reaction over a woman in a long time. And when I did, it hadn’t been often. I wasn’t celibate, but it had been awhile just the same. Sex for an addict could be dangerous and lethal. Especially with the women I came across.

  “I feel like I’ve heard of this place before,” Lily said, interrupting the thoughts going through my head.

  “Oh?” I leaned against the wall, taking a sip of my own coffee. Black, just like hers. A woman after my own cold, lifeless heart.

  “Has this place been in the paper before?”

  “Possibly.” I shrugged. “I don’t read the paper.” There was enough shit going on in my head, I didn’t need the terrors of the world adding to it.

  “I think I’ve seen it. Not sure.” Lily glanced out the window. “It looks like the storm’s letting up.”

  I followed her gaze, noticing the skies clearing. Too bad. “I guess it is.”

  Lily placed her mug on the counter and jumped to the ground. “I should head home.”

  “You should.” I reached out to push a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen from the pile on top of her head but thought better of it.

  She wrapped her coat tighter around her and headed to the door. “Thank you for the coffee, Lucas.”

  I nodded once, watching her leave my shop.

  Drinking the rest of my coffee, I wondered what the hell had just happened. There was no way I could get caught up with a woman like her. She was innocent. Pure. And something that I did not need at the moment. If ever at all.