Never Gone (A Novella) Read online

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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  Never Gone (A Novella)

  Copyright 2020, J.M. Walker

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Epilogue

  Excerpt From Control Us (Next Generation, #1)

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  About

  Marley

  He was leaving me. On our one-year anniversary too. Not that it was his fault, but I still couldn’t help but blame him. He could have fought harder. Could have fought for us. But he didn’t, and he wouldn’t.

  I met Atlas Horne when his family moved in across the street from us. I was seven and he was nine. While the other boys picked on me, he never joined in. No. Instead, Atlas got in many fights over me. He protected me. Took care of me. He smiled whenever I was near. He teased and tickled me whenever he had a chance. There wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t try to touch me in some way. Whether it was just pushing a strand of hair behind my ear or wiping a smudge of dirt off my cheek. I craved his touches. It got to the point where I would go out of my way to make sure he did.

  “Those two are going to get married one day,” his mama would say.

  But now, nine years later, he was moving. All because his father got a job across the country. “Flight and all expenses paid”, his dad had boasted on more than one occasion.

  I knew he meant well but he never saw the pieces that fell from my heart each time he said those words. He never saw the mess I had become, all because he was taking his son away from me.

  We had known about the move for the past few months. We lived every day like it was our last. We lost our virginity to each other because of it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. He was my first and I wanted him to be my last.

  “You’re so young, Atlas,” his mom had said one evening after supper when she didn’t think I was listening. “You’ll find someone else.”

  So much for her thinking that we would get married one day.

  Maybe she was right, but it didn’t mean that I liked hearing her say it any less.

  Letting out a huff, I gripped the chains of the swing I was sitting on and began to move. Kicking from the ground, I let the wind whip around me. If only it could take me away. Somewhere far from here where I didn’t actually have to say goodbye. At all.

  “Marley?”

  My chest tightened, a sob lodging its way into my throat. Ignoring him, I swung harder.

  “Hey.”

  I took a chance and glanced down at Atlas.

  His hands were shoved into the pockets of his blue jeans. His brown hair that fell just below his ears, was messy and unkempt. But what I noticed most was the sheer look of pain hidden in his charcoal gray eyes.

  I stopped kicking my legs back and forth, letting the swing slow to a stop.

  He stepped in front of me, grabbing onto the chains and slid his hands down slowly past each link until they were covering mine. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t,” I finally said, tears pricking the back of my eyes.

  “Hey.” He knelt at my feet, taking my hands in his. “I am sorry I have to leave but we can still talk on the phone.”

  I scoffed. “That’s not the same thing and you know it.”

  He frowned. “I’ll see you during the summers.”

  I pushed him back and stood from the swing. “No, you won’t. Face it, Atlas. You’ll meet someone. You’ll get married and have babies and I’ll be stuck in this town for the rest of my life.”

  “Marley, you know that’s not true.” He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “I wish I had more time. I wish I could show you how much you mean to me.”

  I love you was on the tip of my tongue, but as much as I wanted to say those words to him, I couldn’t. Not when he was leaving. Not when I would probably never see him again. Not when he would outgrow me.

  Atlas spun me around, pinched my chin and forced me to look up at him. He gave me a small smile.

  I reached up, running my fingers along the side of his face, across his lips and down the bridge of his crooked nose. It had broken when he got in a fight for protecting me against a bully. I couldn’t even remember what the bully did to set Atlas off.

  “I’ll miss you,” I whispered.

  “I’ll miss you too.” He leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine. “We will see each other again. I promise you that, Marley.”

  I wanted to believe him. I wished I could, but both of us knew that if we did see each other again, it would be a long time from now and we would be changed people. Maybe we would change so much that we wouldn’t be attracted to each other anymore. Or we would be married to other people. Or we just wouldn’t connect.

  Atlas placed a soft peck on my forehead before pulling me against him. “No matter how long I’m gone for, it won’t be forever.”

  A sob escaped me. No matter how much I didn’t want to cry, I couldn’t stop my body from shaking with agony. My one true love, my first love, my everything, was leaving. And I wasn’t sure if I would ever get him back.

  Atlas

  Seven years.

  So many months. So many weeks. So many damn days.

  When I drove past the sign that said Welcome to Shefford, I wanted to throw up. I wouldn’t even be in this Godforsaken town if it wasn’t for my grandfather dying.

  Oh, who the hell was I kidding? Of course I would be back. I had every intention of coming back a few months later but time got away from me and the next thing I knew, a year had passed.

  Everything would have been fine if my father wouldn’t have taken me from this place. I used to love it. I used to love everything there was about Shefford, but when he took me from my childhood sweetheart, all of that went up in flames. She was going to lose her shit when she saw my face again. And she had every right. I never kept in contact. Why? I had no excuse. Not a good one anyway.

  I sighed, white knuckling the steering wheel. As I drove down Main Street, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss. I should have spent my life here. Most people who grew up in Shefford, didn’t want to leave. It was a good town. Unlike some that you heard about where everyone was just dying to get out. In my case, it was a certain female that kept me away. It wasn’t the town’s fault. It wasn’t even my fathers. It was me. All me. Because I should have gone back as soon as I got the chance. As soon as we moved to the big city, I got my driver’s license, but did I ever drive back home? Nope. And now I would have to deal with a woman’s wrath because of it.

  Or maybe, just maybe, she had forgotten about me. Maybe she shacked up with some guy and got married. Had his babies and moved on.

  My stomach twisted, a sour taste burning its way to my throat. Fuck that. Marley Beck was mine. Even though it had been seven years, I would prove to her just in fact how mine she was.

  Raking a hand through my hair, I let out a heavy sigh the closer I got to my destination. Parking at the side of the street, I left the rental car and made my way into Ricki’s.<
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  As soon as I entered the small building, I should have known. It was something out of a movie. A visitor comes to town, enters the building and the music stops. Locals gawk and stare, wondering where the hell you came from. Although I lived in Shefford as a kid, I was no longer a local. I realized that as all heads turned my way.

  Clearing my throat, I popped the collar to my suit jacket and made my way to the bar.

  Ricki Owens stood behind the long bar, wiping a glass with a dish towel.

  “It’s been a long time, kid,” he said, not meeting my stare.

  I sat at the stool, placed my cell on the bar top and looked around the room. “It has. How are you doing, Ricki?”

  “Oh, you know. Living the dream.” He smirked. “What’ll you have?”

  “Just a beer please.” I looked around me again and breathed a sigh of relief that the patrons had gone back to their conversations. I hated being the center of attention, but I should have known that this would have happened. It had been seven years since I came home. What did I expect?

  “Are you sure? You don’t want something stronger or more expensive to match that suit of yours?” Ricki raised an eyebrow, nodding toward me.

  I looked down at myself. “I am a little out of place, aren’t I?”

  He grunted, throwing the towel on the counter behind him and poured me a beer. “What are you doing these days? Heard you’ve become a hotshot lawyer.”

  It was my turn to grunt that time. I was about to ask how he heard that, but then remembered who I was talking to. Ricki heard everything because people talked. Even when you moved out of town, your business still spread. “Hardly. I’m working at the law firm my father works at.” I was trying to become a lawyer but a hotshot one? Not so much.

  Ricki placed the beer in front of me.

  My mouth watered. It had been a long time since I had a good draught. The bars I attended anymore had expensive wines, champagnes and scotch.

  When that first taste hit my tongue, I groaned. I downed half the pint before I placed it on the bar top in front of me.

  Ricki chuckled. “That good?”

  “You have no idea.” I finished off the beer and pushed the empty mug toward him. “Keep them coming. Please.”

  “You bet,” Ricki said, refilling my beer.

  While he was pouring me another drink, I noticed a row of candles on a ledge behind him. “Start a new collection, Ricki?”

  He followed my gaze, a soft chuckle leaving him. “Every purchase of those candles goes to help an organization that deals with human trafficking and abuse victims. Your girl is one of the candle makers.”

  My body stirred. “My girl?”

  His chuckle deepened but nothing more was said on the matter.

  I got three beers in before I loosened the tie around my neck and took it off. Unbuttoning the top three buttons of my black dress shirt, I let out a heavy sigh.

  “I heard about your granddaddy.”

  “I’m sure you all did,” I mumbled.

  “He was a good man.” Ricki went back to wiping down another mug. “A hard worker and a stern fucker but still, a very good man.”

  “He was.” Guilt resonated on my shoulders that I hadn’t been by to see him much over the years.

  “How are your parents doing?” Ricki asked, bringing me out of my head.

  “Good. Dad’s planning on retiring in the next year or so. Mom hasn’t had to work since we moved from here.” I had loathed my dad in the beginning for taking me from Marley but now that I was older, I understood. I no longer blamed him but myself instead.

  Ricki nodded. “Have you seen Marley yet?”

  Every inch of me came alive at the mere mention of her name. “No,” I croaked.

  Ricki smirked, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes becoming more pronounced with the movement. “She’s doing well. This organization is doing well for themselves even though money isn’t the whole point of it. Just thought you’d want to know.”

  I sat forward. “What organization?”

  “Thistle Farms. They have several locations across the country.” Ricki pulled a candle off the shelf and handed it to me.

  I took off the lid and brought the small glass container up to my nose, taking a deep inhale. It was a sweet scent. Almost like a mixture of vanilla cake and cinnamon. “That smells good.”

  “They all do.”

  I handed it back to him, happy that Marley was doing well for herself. Even growing up, she was always helping others. She had become a tutor as soon as she could. She would donate her clothes and anything else she didn’t want, to the less fortunate. I had teased her in the beginning by saying that she was our town’s Mother Theresa.

  “She’s not married,” Ricki said, pulling me from my thoughts. He placed another beer in front of me before I had finished my last one. “In case you were wondering.”

  “Why would I be wondering that?” I asked, picking up the mug and downed half of it before meeting his gaze.

  He chuckled. “You kids. You never learn.”

  “It’s been seven years, Ricki.” Although I was surprised she hadn’t been snatched up yet, I was thankful just the same.

  “So? You’re still young. ‘Bout time you got that head of yours out of your ass and did something about it.” He grunted. “You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for that.”

  “My grandpa died,” I reminded him.

  “And when was the last time you saw the man?” Ricki raised an eyebrow.

  “Uh…”

  “Exactly.” He pointed at me. “Listen, I’ve been ‘round long enough and I know you kids. I may not have seen you in a while, but I know that what you two had was somethin’ special. Sure, you were kids. But that doesn’t mean anything. This is your second chance, Atlas. Remember that.”

  While he went back to serving other customers, I stewed over his words. Could he be right? I was never close with my grandfather because my father wasn’t. They had a falling out when my dad moved us across the country and even he hadn’t been back to see him. Hell, he wasn’t even in town yet for his funeral.

  “I’ll be there on the day of,” Dad said.

  Yeah. Right.

  But it didn’t make a difference. No matter how much I wanted Marley back, I knew I would have to work hard for it. Seven years was a long time.

  I downed the rest of my beer, threw some bills on the bar top and stood.

  “Your money isn’t good here, Atlas.” Ricki nodded toward the cash. “Take it as a welcome home present.”

  I nodded, muttered a thanks and went to leave when I was stopped short by the deepest blue eyes I had ever seen. I was instantly brought back to that day. That day so damn long ago, it was like it happened yesterday. The look of pain flashed before my eyes. If I could take it away, I would but right now, as I stared down the woman I had loved as a boy, I realized rather quickly that I would have a lot of work to do to win her heart back as a man.

  Marley

  Atlas Fucking Horne.

  Why the hell was he back in town? Especially after all of this time? Oh right, his grandfather had died, and his funeral was this coming weekend. But I was still surprised to see him. He had never been close with his grandfather and I had heard through others that even his daddy never made it back to town, which left a sour taste in his grandfather’s mouth.

  As Atlas and I had a stare down, I crossed my arms under my chest and lifted my chin. He looked good. Too good if you asked me. With his well-tailored suit that probably cost more than my years wage, perfect brown hair that was shorter on the sides and longer on top, I wanted to smack that smirk off his face. He still affected me, and he knew it. Even when we were kids, my heart would stutter when he was near. My palms would become sweaty. And the tiny hairs on my skin would tingle. All because of him.

  Atlas cocked his head to the side, raising a dark eyebrow, challenging me. What could I even say to him? Oh, there was plenty that I wanted to say but he didn’t deserve to hear it.


  Uncrossing my arms, I nodded once. “Atlas.”

  His smirk grew. “Marley.”

  I swallowed a whimper at how deep his voice had become. How my name rolled off the tip of his tongue like melted honey. How it sounded good on his full lips.

  “I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather.” My parents raised me to be polite. Even though Atlas didn’t deserve it, I always liked his grandfather. And I was sorry that he had died.

  “Thank you.” Atlas nodded toward the bar. “Can I buy you a drink?”

  I searched his face for a hint that he was wanting something more or that there was a catch, but when he only stared at me and waited for an answer, I let out a soft sigh and walked toward him. “Sure.”

  “What would you like, Marley?”

  My jaw clenched. An apology, asshole. “Just a beer please.”

  He nodded. “Ricki, two beers please.”

  Ricki poured two mugs and placed them on top of the bar. He glanced my way.

  I swallowed hard, muttering a thank you.

  He nodded once and went back to serving other customers.

  Without handing me my beer, Atlas walked to a nearby booth that would give us more privacy.

  My heart skipped a beat, but I followed him anyway. Sitting across from him, I took my beer and downed half of it before I placed the mug on the table in front of me.

  “So, Atlas. How’s life in the big city?” I had heard that he was working toward becoming a successful lawyer. Stories became strewed when they passed from person to person. Someone had said that he settled down and got married. That rumor I had hoped wasn’t true. Even though I was mad at him, I didn’t want him happy. I wanted him to suffer like I had suffered over the years.

  “It’s boring.” His lips twitched into a slow smirk.

  “Boring?” I raised an eyebrow, sitting back and played with the napkin beneath my mug. “How so? I can’t imagine it’s any more boring than this place.”

  Atlas gazed out at the mass room. His jaw ticked like he was deciding on what he should say or what he could get away with saying without me slapping his handsome face.