Being Us (Next Generation Book 4) Read online

  After feeding him, I made myself something quick to eat and started moving around the apartment to make sure nothing was out of the ordinary.

  Satisfied that everything was fine, I went to the spare room and began working out. It had been the same routine for the past several months. I spent the day trying to find answers as to who the mole was in my club and spent the nights working out and hanging out with my dog.

  It was getting boring. And quickly. I needed answers. But no one I knew was able to give me anything.

  After my workout, I was wired. I took a shower, cleaned myself up and decided to see if I could get some sort of answer. From someone. But I couldn’t even call anyone in my club. Everyone had turned on me and I had no idea as to why. I wasn’t easy to get along with. I got that. But no one seemed to care when I was paying them to keep their mouths shut.

  Before I could leave the apartment, Trigger hobbled toward me. He gave me a deep woof, resting his body weight against my legs.

  “I won’t be gone long,” I told him, scratching behind his ears.

  He woofed again.

  I crouched, earning me a lick.

  I chuckled, the tension resting on my shoulders easing some at the mere affection he was giving me. Kissing the top of his head, I ran my hand down his body. “You behave, alright? If you have a lady over, just put a sock on the door.”

  He woofed again.

  I stood and headed to the door when Trigger barked. I paused in my steps, staring down at him. He didn’t normally bark. Not loud anyway. It usually ended up being a deep sound, almost like a grunt because he didn’t have the energy for more. But this time, for whatever reason, he did.

  He looked up at me with those golden eyes of his.

  “What’s wrong?” I wished he could tell me. Something was off but I had no idea what he was trying to say.

  Trigger slowly walked over to the door and sat, almost like he was telling me to stay home.

  “I can’t stay home. You know that, Trig. I have to get answers.” I crouched back down, meeting him at eye level. “I need to get a better home for us.”

  He snuffed, shaking his head.

  “Sorry, buddy. Dad has to go.” I rose to my full height. He did the same and walked past me. Heading to the door, another bark sounded as soon as I placed my hand on the doorknob.

  Looking over my shoulder, I found him with his leash in his mouth, wagging his tail. He hadn’t wanted to go for a walk in over a week. Something was up with him tonight.

  “Alright, I’ll take you with me but if you cause trouble, I’m leaving you home next time.” I grabbed his leash and clipped it onto his collar.

  He gave me a deep woof, nudged his snout against my hand, and wagged his tail.

  My heart warmed over the fact that I hadn’t seen him this happy in a long time. He was hardly active anymore. He wasn’t even active when he first came to live with me. But over the past few weeks, it had gotten worse. I wished I could have known him as a puppy and saved him from the hell he had lived in.

  “Let’s go, old man.” I opened the door and led him out into the hall before locking up the apartment. Not that it mattered really. I had nothing of importance in it now that Trigger was with me at my side. The apartment wasn’t my home but more of a cover-up instead. Just no one knew that unless I told them.

  When we left the building, I gave the homeless man who was still sitting by the doorway, another wad of cash and started walking Trigger. Or more so, he was walking me.

  “Hey.” I tugged on the leash gently. “What’s gotten into you?”

  He tried dragging me, pulling me away from what, I couldn’t be sure. But for a dog with arthritis and other ailments, he was strong as hell.

  “Trigger,” I said, my voice firm.

  He stopped suddenly, sitting his butt on the ground beneath him, his tail no longer wagging. His ears stood up straight, his eyes locking on something. He was on high alert and I had no idea why.

  This part of town was quiet for the most part. Surprisingly. Especially when other areas in the city that weren’t as bad, kept the authorities busy. No, this area was only bad during the day. It was like the criminals wanted to challenge the cops by keeping them on their toes and showing their faces. It didn’t make sense if you asked me.

  Unsure as to what caught Trigger’s attention, maybe it was a cat, I tugged on his leash again. “Come. We’re going to visit a friend.” Although, I wouldn’t really call him a friend. He had been the only person I kept in contact with over the months I had disappeared. And the only person I trusted. Which was saying a lot. I didn’t even trust myself half the time, but this fucker wormed his way into my heart until he became like the brother I should have had. Truth was, my own brother had died some time ago. He got caught up with the wrong people, ended up in jail and was killed because they had found out he was gay. I despised homophobic assholes. Ever since then, if I saw or heard someone giving a person a hard time just because of their sexual orientation, I kicked their ass.

  As Trigger and I continued walking toward our destination, I couldn’t help but listen to the noises around us. People milled about, going in and out of bars. It was still early in the evening. The sun had set about an hour before. A few cars drove up and down the street. A gunshot sounded off in the distance, followed by sirens. Trigger walked slowly, taking in everything around us as well.

  “I don’t know what you can hear, buddy, but I’m not a fan of this nervous energy coming off of you,” I mumbled.

  Trigger woofed.

  I sighed.

  A few blocks later and we were standing outside the entrance to Owan’s Nook. It was a bookstore that held all kinds of books, reading paraphernalia, and more. It was a reader’s wet dream if you asked me.

  The shop always closed early on Saturday nights but tonight, it closed even earlier than expected. I gave the door two knocks anyway.

  A lock clicked free, indicating for me to enter. Pushing open the door, I stepped inside with Trigger at my side.

  “I’m surprised you brought him with you,” came a deep voice.

  The room was dark, shadows danced over the stacks of books and other items displayed on shelves and tables but other than that, I didn’t see anyone.

  “He didn’t want to be alone.” And I didn’t want him to be alone either with how weird he was acting.

  “Fair enough.” A large man finally stepped into the dim lighting of the moon, but I still couldn’t see him properly. “Anyone follow you?”

  “No.” One of these days, I was sure I would say yes. I knew that. He knew that. It was only a matter of time. You couldn’t stay gone forever. No matter how much you tried.

  “Good. You know the drill.” He headed to the back of the store, the sound of another door unlocking in the distance erupting through me.

  Tightening my hold on Trigger’s leash, I walked him to the back. When we passed through the open doorway, I was suddenly pulled against a hard body.

  “It’s good to see you, fucker.”

  I chuckled, wrapping an arm around Rowan Crane’s shoulders. “Good to see you too.”

  Rowan leaned back, cupping the side of my neck and staring at me.

  I shifted from foot to foot, unease twisting through my gut. “What?” I finally asked.

  “My parents have asked about you. I told them you were fine, keeping well, ruining people’s lives and all that shit. You know, the same old crap you do every day.” He continued to stare at me, his words holding no hint of humor.

  I huffed, pushing out of his hold and moved to the couch sitting by the far wall. I sat, unclipped Trigger’s leash, and patted my knees.

  He slowly jumped up onto the couch, laid down, and rested his head on my lap. “I haven’t ruined anyone’s life.” Not in a while at least.

  “Have you found out anything else?” Rowan asked, his gray eyes meeting mine.

  “No.” I ran my hand down the length of Trigger’s body.

  He sighed, his
eyes fluttering closed.

  You’re safe with me, old man. I promise you that.

  “Alright.” Rowan shoved his fingers through his short light brown hair before scratching the scruff on his jaw. “And you haven’t heard from anyone? Not your crew or Hell’s Harlem or anyone else?”

  “Nope.” It was unnerving how everyone had been quiet. I cleaned up my tracks so I couldn’t be followed. Rowan didn’t even know where I lived. I didn’t have a social security number. I didn’t have a job. I didn’t pay taxes. I didn’t fucking exist in the government’s eyes and that was how I wanted it. To them, I was dead.

  “I don’t like this,” Rowan mumbled, cracking his knuckles. “I had my dad try and look up some information about your club and each member. Your supposed brothers.”

  I grunted. “They aren’t shit to me anymore.” And as strong as I tried to be, that shit stung.

  “Good. You deserve better friends anyway.” Rowan moved to the large chair behind the dark wooden desk at the other side of the room. “And you have me. So what more do you need?”

  I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Pussy would help.” It wouldn’t but I had a part to play. No one knew about my sexual preferences and how they were pretty much non-existent. “How’s your sister?”

  Rowan’s gaze snapped to mine. “Married and fucking happy,” he growled.

  I chuckled.

  Truth was, I hadn’t had sex in months. Maybe even a year. Or longer. I couldn’t be sure anymore. Not that I couldn’t get it whenever I had wanted but the women I knew, knew my club and they would do anything to make an extra buck. They would let me fuck them, hell, do whatever I wanted to them, and then they would run back to Devil’s Rejects and reveal all. I already had a target on my back, I didn’t need any more of this shit added to it.

  “Tell me again,” Rowan demanded from his perch behind his desk.

  I sighed, pinched the bridge of my nose, and leaned my head back against the couch. I didn’t want to relive that night. That night that no doubt started a war. A war I could never win. Not on my own.

  “I was meeting up with Meadow Rodriguez,” I explained, telling him once again what happened that night. That night so many months ago that took a life and destroyed another’s, including my own.

  Gunshots. Yells. Screams. Blood. So much damn blood.

  But what I remembered the most was the pain seeping from a rival club member. Shade lost the man he loved. He had his girlfriend, but I was sure it would never be the same. I didn’t know who shot and killed Sunny, but I did know that both Shade and Meadow would think I had something to do with it.

  “Tanner.”

  My eyes popped open at the barked use of my name. “Yeah.”

  Rowan turned his computer until it was facing me. “Who’s this?”

  I slid out from under Trigger and rose from the couch. Staring at the screen, I studied the image before me. A picture of a man dressed in a leather cut with my crew’s name on it, sat on the left breast. It said President, with the Devil’s Rejects logo on the right.

  “That’s Tommy West.”

  “Since when did he become president?” Rowan asked.

  “Since I’ve been gone for months and everyone probably thinks I’m dead.” He probably became president a few days into my disappearance. “I’m sure it was after they stopped looking for me.”

  “You think they were actually looking for you?” Rowan asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “No. But the thought was nice.” I began pacing. “Tommy wasn’t my VP, so I have no idea how the hell he became president.” None of this made sense.

  “Well it looks like you were replaced rather quickly.” Rowan turned the computer back around, clicking some more keys.

  “Yeah, no shit.” I nodded to the screen. “Where did you find that?”

  “On Facebook. It seems like your club has its own page now.” Rowan sat back, crossing his arms under his chest. “I’ll see if I can get my dad or mom to find out where this page was created. I’ll do some more digging and get back to you.”

  I muttered a thanks and let out a heavy sigh.

  I never wanted to be on social media. I didn’t care how good it made us look. Social media was dangerous, especially for our club, but clearly Tommy didn’t care about that. He obviously wanted to be known. Maybe he wanted to be famous. But for what, I wasn’t sure.

  “I’m going to head out.” I grabbed Trigger’s leash and gave his head a scratch. “Time to go home, buddy.”

  He lifted his head, gave me a deep bark, and jumped off the couch.

  “How much longer do you think he has?” Rowan asked gently, nodding toward my dog.

  “I’m not sure but I’m going to give him the best last days a dog could ever have.” And after he passed, even though I didn’t want to think about it, I would rescue another dog and keep it going. Most people wanted puppies and while I loved them too, it’s the old dogs I preferred. They helped slow me down. I had been going for so long, the next thing I knew, I would be an old man.

  Trigger barked, pulling me from my thoughts.

  I caught Rowan’s gaze.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Problem?”

  Clearing my throat, I wrapped Trigger’s leash around my hand. “Nope. No problem.”

  Rowan sat back in his chair, his eyes burning into me. “My dad gets that same look, you know.”

  “What look?” I shouldn’t have asked, knowing it meant that I would have to give a little more of myself than I would like.

  “It’s that look that something happened but you’re trying hard to forget about it.” Rowan sat forward. “My dad has had years of practice on how to make it go away. He also has my mom to help him. But you…” He pointed at me. “You don’t.”

  “I don’t think your dad would like it too much if your mom helped me.”

  Rowan stared at me. “And you cover this shit up with humor.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Besides, I have Trigger,” I bit out through clenched teeth, hating that Rowan had me figured out. Even though I had known him for quite a while, it didn’t mean that I liked him knowing my business. I had spent years keeping what happened, locked up tight. No one knew what I had been through or what I had done to survive and make it to where I was today.

  “Right,” Rowan said, drawing out the word.

  “Either way. It doesn’t matter.” Sure, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder but when it came to the things I had done and the people who were after me, it would be this way for awhile. Maybe, forever. And there wasn’t much I could do about it either. Even when I got the answers I was looking for.

  “It does matter but you just don’t see it yet.” Rowan sat back in his chair, his light eyes burning into mine.

  I grunted, gave myself a shake, and started making my way to the door. “Keep in touch.”

  “Always.” He paused. “Take care of yourself, Tanner.”

  I nodded, leaving the room. “He’s an odd one, Trigger.”

  Trigger snuffed.

  “I’m glad you agree with me.” When we left the bookstore, I stopped.

  Trigger sat, his ears perking up.

  Something was off tonight. He had felt it earlier. I knew he had because he wouldn’t let me leave the apartment without him.

  “Alright, old man. Let’s go home.”

  Tanner

  WE STARTED WALKING TOWARD our apartment. Nothing was out of the ordinary but something odd was definitely in the air this evening. It was still early. A few cars drove past us every now and again. No people were out though. Not like earlier.

  Businesses in the area were starting to close. We didn’t live in a busy part of the city. There were a few bars, but it was mostly locals in the area that frequented them. The only place that was open all night, was a local deli. They used to close at a decent time until they became so busy, they had to stay open to accommodate their customers.

  Tr
igger headed in the direction of the deli, but I gently tugged him back.

  “Not tonight, buddy. We have to head home.” I went to cross the street when Trigger barked and tried walking in the direction of the deli again. “What’s with you tonight? We have to go home. You need rest.”

  He looked back at me and gave a shake of his head as if he were saying, Fuck off. I’m fine.

  As much as I could go for one of the deli’s famous sandwiches, something was telling me not to. That familiar ache in the pit of my gut was warning me against it. I just wanted to go home, get some rest, and get back to figuring out what the hell was going on in the morning. But Trigger was having none of it.

  “Trig, my man.” I crouched in front of him, running my fingers through the fur beneath his ears. “What’s wrong?”

  He lowered his head.

  I leaned my forehead against his. A sense of calm washed over me. It had always amazed me how animals could make me feel better. Even though they couldn’t speak, I knew what he was thinking. He also had a different bark for when he was hungry, wanted to go out, or just wanted to chill and do fuck all. He spoke to me in his own way. I would forever be thankful to the person who didn’t want him because he was mine. And I promised that I would give him the best life possible while he was still around.

  “Alright, if you want a sandwich, I’ll get you one.” I could go for a meatball sub anyway.

  Trigger did a little jump, his tail wagging back and forth.

  I chuckled, grabbed hold of his leash, and headed across the street to Mama’s Deli.

  Once we reached the diner, I tied Trigger’s leash to a nearby lamppost. Bending over, I scratched behind his ears. “Now don’t go talking to any strangers, alright?”

  He licked my face.

  “I love you, boy,” I murmured, kissing his forehead.

  He gave my face another lick before lying down and waiting patiently for his sandwich.