Bound by You Read online

  “Brett,” I whispered, reaching out for him.

  He grabbed my hand, roughly pulling me towards him.

  I gasped at the abrupt movement, staring up at him wide eyed.

  Brett didn’t say anything. He just stared down at me.

  For the first time ever, I was scared of my husband. Not for fear that he would hurt me. But terrified that his anger would win out and completely consume him. He was pissed. And he had every right to be. We had our trust issues in the beginning. Worked through them and now this.

  He let go of me and walked back into the house, leaving me alone and trembling.

  Tears burned my eyes and I slumped onto the patio chair. Sometimes my words could get away from me. This time being one of those times.

  What the hell did I just do?

  Chapter 3

  “MAMA, ARE you and daddy fighting?”

  “We just had a disagreement, baby,” I told Patrick. I braced myself for the oncoming badgering of questions from Miracle but when she only stiffened beside me, I let out a sigh of relief. I tightened my arm around her and kissed her head. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “Tell daddy that,” she said softly.

  My heart gave a start at that. “It’s easier said than done.” After I asked Brett the worst question I could possibly ask him, he had left. I couldn’t find him in the house anywhere. He ended up texting that he was at his club, The Red Love. The place that started it all, I liked to call it. But other than that, he hadn’t tried to contact me. And that was six hours ago. I glanced at Patrick and Eddie curled up in their blankets on the floor. They should really be in bed but I didn’t want to be alone. And I couldn’t sleep knowing that Brett was furious with me.

  Keys sounded in the door making the kids jump up.

  “Daddy, you’re home. Mommy was worried sick.” Eddie puffed out his chest. “I protected her.”

  Brett only smiled and ruffled his hair.

  “Alright kids, time for bed.” I picked Miracle up, holding her against me and carried her to her bedroom. Although she was ten, she was tiny for her age due to being born premature and she still fit perfectly in my arms. Until she got too big, I would cherish these moments. She was my first. My miracle baby. After almost losing her, I held onto times like this. A lump formed in my throat and I hugged her tight.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, wiping her tiny hands down my cheeks.

  I nodded and placed her gently in the bed. “Get some sleep.” I headed to the doorway to turn off the light when her small voice stopped me.

  “Daddy loves you. Whatever he did to make you sad, please forgive him.”

  I inhaled a shaky breath. “He needs to talk to me.”

  “Talk to him first. Maybe than he’ll talk back.”

  My head whipped around. “You’ve been spending too much time at Dr. Santos’.”

  She giggled and rolled over. “Goodnight, mommy.”

  “Good night, baby.” I turned off the light and shut the door.

  Matteo Santos was our psychologist but now, after being with him for over ten years, he was more like a friend. A part of the family, so to speak. After Brett’s childhood and nightmares, the issues with his mom, he needed someone to talk to. But maybe he just needed his wife now. God, maybe I was spending too much time with the doctor.

  I huffed and made my way down the hall, checking in on the boys. Seeing that they were both in bed already, I kissed their cheeks, tucked them in and cleaned up the living room.

  Day in and day out, I cleaned. Cooked. Took care of the home. I needed my job back. I needed out. I loved managing the clubs with Brett. It was a part of me. Not being able to was about to drive me insane or worse. It would destroy my marriage.

  “Evvie,” Brett called out as I walked by his office.

  Bracing myself for his wrath, I slowly turned around. “Yes?”

  “Come here.”

  The short command did something funny to my belly. It twisted and turned with delight, reminiscing about the man that used to have me drop to my knees from just a word. “Brett, I’m—”

  “Shut up,” he snapped.

  I jumped, chewing my bottom lip.

  He rose to his feet and slowly made his way towards me. His demeanor was cool, collected, like it had always been but it was laced with something else.

  My gaze travelled down the length of his body. The top three buttons of his white dress shirt were undone. The thickness between his legs hidden by the fabric of his black pants. My mouth watered at the mere sight of him. No matter how many times I had been with the man, it was always different. Powerful and passionate, dominating and seductive.

  I was frozen in place, captivated by his stare. “I’m surprised that you came back.”

  His jaw clenched. Leaning his hands on either side of my head against the door, he leaned down, brushing his nose along the side of my neck. “Do you remember the issues we had in the beginning because you didn’t trust me?”

  “I trusted you.”

  “No!” He slapped a hand against the door. “You didn’t.”

  “I did!” I cried. “I didn’t trust the other women.”

  “And now here we are, over ten years later and you still don’t trust me,” he said, his voice panged.

  “I hardly hear from you during the day. You’re never around. You don’t talk to me, Brett. You hit my brother in the beginning remember? You were jealous of my damn brothers! If the roles were reversed, you would react the same way.”

  “No, I wouldn’t.” Brett cupped my throat, tilting my head. “You want to know why? Because I trust you.” Spinning me, he pushed me against the door and leaned into me.

  “I’m sorry. I trust you. I do. I…I…”

  “Do you know how hard it was for me to control myself earlier? When you asked me if I was cheating on you, I wanted to hurt you.”

  I whimpered. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “Are you really?” His arm wrapped around me, holding my hands tight against my chest.

  “Yes. Of course I am. I just blurted it out.”

  “And that’s an excuse, Evvie? I would fucking die for you.”

  A sob escaped me. “Brett, please. I’m sorry.”

  “I would die for you,” he repeated. “I love you. I love you more than a human should love another person. It’s a dangerous love because I know that if something happened to you, a part of me would die with you. I’m sorry that you’re having issues trusting me but I need you to be patient. Please.” The sweet vulnerable side of him didn’t last long when the force of his rage took over. Not that I ever expected it too.

  “What’s going on with us?”

  “You tell me, Evvie. You seem to be the one with the problem.” Brett released me and headed back behind his desk.

  I shook myself, momentarily surprised that he let me go. I was waiting for his wrath. For him to prove to me again just how much he in fact owned me. To remind me that he was mine.

  “I miss you,” I said softly.

  “Well I’m right here, now aren’t I?” He scrubbed a hand down his face, eventually meeting my gaze.

  My heart hurt. My body ached from the night before. He may have been sitting a few feet away from me, but he shut me out. He was closed off, falling into himself. “Have you seen Dr. Santos?”

  Brett raised an eyebrow. “If you think whatever this shit is has something to do with my past, you need to fucking think again, Evvie.”

  “I just worry. Have you been having nightmares?” I walked up to him and slid between him and his desk. I was grasping at straws but I was determined to fix whatever this issue between us was.

  “Evvie,” he muttered.

  Crawling onto his lap, I cupped his cheeks. “Talk to me.”

  “I’m fine. I haven’t had a nightmare in years.” He said those words and I wanted to believe him but when he didn’t look at me, I knew he was lying.

  “When was the last nightmare?” I asked, unbuttoning his shir
t.

  “Last night and every night before that,” he ground out. “They started happening again when we started fighting.”

  A heavy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach and all I could do was sit there. Like a fool, I thought this shit was only affecting me. I waited for him to make a move. To hold me. To tell me that everything would be alright but when he didn’t, I rose from his lap and swallowed past the hard lump in my throat.

  “I don’t know what’s going on between us,” Brett said, grabbing my hand. “But I can reassure you that I am not fucking cheating on you.”

  I nodded and attempted to pull from his grip when his fingers tightened around my wrist.

  “I’m not.” In a quick move, he twisted my arm behind my back and bent me over the edge of his desk.

  I gasped, gripping the hard wooden top.

  “That question hurt me, Evvie, but it pissed me off even more.” His tone took on a bite, like the sharp blade of a knife.

  “I’m sorry. I know you’re not cheating on me,” I cried out.

  “Then why did you ask?” he snapped, shoving my dress to my hips.

  “Because it was the only way to get a reaction from you!” I snapped my mouth shut, realization dawning on me at my outburst.

  Brett paused in his movements, his hold on my wrist loosening.

  “You’ve been cold. Closed off. And I’ve tried talking to you but I couldn’t get—”

  “Enough!”

  “But we need to talk.” I cried out when a heavy swat landed on my ass. The pain simmered to a dull roar but I found myself craving more. I didn’t know what was going on between us. I didn’t know how to even get us back.

  “We can talk later. Right now, I’ll give you the reaction that you so desperately have been trying to get from me.” The sound of a belt being pulled from the straps, snapped into the air like that of a whip.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable pain that I knew would soon surround my very being.

  Brett released my wrist and grazed his hand down the small of my back. In a smooth move, he ripped off my panties, pulling them free from my trembling body. “This is for thinking that I’m cheating on you.”

  A hard snap landed against my flesh. I cried out, my eyes brimming over instantly from the burn.

  “This is for not talking to me but telling everyone else our problems instead.”

  Snap. Snap.

  I breathed through the pain like so many times before. Brett and I had embraced our kinky side years ago. It was a journey that brought us closer. Built on trust and communication. But now, I just needed to feel him truly dominate me.

  Sweat coated my brow, my hands hurting from gripping the edge of the desk until my knuckles turned white. “Brett,” I breathed.

  He stopped what he was doing and dropped the belt, landing a hard swat on my ass with the palm of his hand. “Nice and red, my beautiful wife,” he purred, caressing the burning skin of my rear. His finger inched to my opening before entering my body in one smooth thrust.

  I moaned, rocking back against his hand.

  “Nice and wet, too,” Brett said, kissing my tail bone.

  I gasped when something warm and velvety ran over my center and back up between my ass cheeks. When it focused on the tight area that Brett had ripped into the night before, I couldn’t help the flush of heat that spread over my body.

  It was tender, loving, like he was apologizing for hurting me even though he enjoyed whenever I was sore from his rough caress.

  “So fucking delicious.” He snarled, licking his way into my body.

  Suddenly, a sharp pain exploded through my clit. My breath caught, my heart pounding hard against my rib cage. “Oh…oh God. Brett!”

  The pain only turned into a powerful force. The sweet agony mixing with pleasure.

  At that point, Brett thrust into me. “Fuck,” he groaned.

  I bit my bottom lip to keep from screaming out, for fear of waking the kids.

  His fingers dug into the flesh of my hips, no doubt bruising my skin. He pumped hard and fast, bringing us both over the edge of ecstasy. We jumped that cliff together, diving into the fiery pits of passion and seduction as he used my body to please him.

  Brett pushed into me, going as deep as my body would allow. “You’re nice and tight, Evvie. So slick and swollen for my dick. Your body loves the fucking that I give it.”

  I moaned in agreement. Did it ever. I could never resist the temptation of his rough touch. The way he moved inside of me like he couldn’t get enough. The way he consumed my every waking breath. Every thought. Every action. Every word was for him. This shit we had going on, it wasn’t important enough to throw what we had away. That. Right there. Him taking from me what he needed, what he had always needed, my everything. Every single inch of me. My heart. My soul. My mind. It all belonged to him.

  “Come for me,” he breathed heavily in my ear. “I need your orgasm. Come all over my dick, lover.”

  The twinge of pain spread once again through my aching clit. I didn’t know what was causing the sting but the slight agony burst forth, causing a release to shatter through me. It was so hard, my vision faded in and out. I stayed still, not even screaming. The intensity of the orgasm stole my breath only causing Brett to pump that much harder inside of me.

  Suddenly my body felt like it was falling. My eyes grew heavy, my limbs and muscles being pulled forth to the ground. I continued into the abyss, the darkness of my mind swallowing me up like that of a black hole.

  The last thing that I heard was my husband yelling.

  Chapter 4

  I WOKE sometime later, curled up on the chaise in our living room, with my body wrapped around Brett.

  “She’s awake.”

  I jumped at the deep slightly accented voice and found Matteo Santos sitting on the couch.

  He rose to his feet and knelt beside us. “How are you feeling, Evvie?”

  I glanced at Brett.

  His brow was furrowed, his strong jaw clenching and unclenching.

  “What…” I cleared my throat. “What happened?”

  Brett cupped my nape, rubbing his thumb back and forth over my pulse point.

  “Brett?” I sat up, snuggling into his side when my body became really heavy and tired all of a sudden. Stifling a yawn, I leaned my head on his chest. “Matteo, why are you here?”

  His gaze slid to Brett’s before meeting mine. “Brett called me.”

  My eyes widened. “Really? Why? What’s going on?”

  “Have you heard of subspace?” Matteo asked me gently.

  “Yes.” I had learned about it from Brett long ago and enjoyed experiencing it every chance I could. It was different for everyone but most said you felt like you were floating. And I had to agree.

  “Okay. Do you know what sub drop is?”

  I felt Brett shift beneath me.

  He rubbed his jaw. “She shouldn’t since I’ve never told her,” he bit out.

  “No. I don’t know what it means,” I told Matteo.

  “It can come in many different forms. Basically it’s the effects of the release and drop of endorphins. It can be due to an emotional and physical response. In this case, you dropped. Hard.” A shadow passed over Matteo’s face, his dark eyes going cold.

  “So what does that mean exactly?” I asked, ignoring the shift in the air.

  “It means that if Brett wouldn’t have caught it in time, you could have fallen into a heavy depression that sometimes lasts for days, even weeks.” He rose to his feet, pacing back and forth before stopping at the bay window. The moonlight cast an eerie glow around the doctor, giving my heart a start.

  “I’m sorry,” Brett said, cupping my cheek. He placed a soft kiss on my mouth. “I…I couldn’t control myself.”

  “I’m fine,” I reassured him. “I still don’t know what you both are talking about.”

  “You may be fine now but the point is that Brett needs to learn control. I understand that you h
ave been having problems.” Matteo turned to us. “But the pain that Brett has given you mixed with the intense pleasure, brought you over the edge into a dark place. I’ve seen people take weeks to get out of it.” His eyes took on a faraway look.

  “Oh…well, I’m fine,” I repeated. I sat forward, resting my head in my hands when a pounding headache hit me full force.

  “Headache?”

  I looked at Matteo. “Yeah. How did you know?”

  “Because my…” he cleared his throat. “I know someone that gets them all of the time while…” His cheeks reddened.

  A slow grin spread on my face. “Why Dr. Santos? Do you have a girlfriend?”

  “Evvie,” Brett scolded.

  Matteo chuckled, brushing his hand through his hair. “Curiosity got the submissive spanked, dear Evvie.”

  I laughed, leaning back into Brett’s side.

  He pulled me into his arms, running his nose up and down the length of my neck. Inhaling. Scenting me. It had been so long, I had almost forgotten what it had felt like.

  “Now that we know you are okay, I will leave you alone. Brett, make sure you give your wife a safeword. Next time we meet and I hear that you haven’t yet, I’ll kick your ass.” And with that Matteo left, shutting the door behind him.

  “I wonder what the woman will be like that captures his heart,” I said softly.

  “Strong.”

  Wrapping my arm around Brett’s shoulders, I kissed his cheek. “I agree.”

  “We can decide on a safeword later. Right now, I need to know…are we okay, Evvie?” he asked, casually sliding his hand up and down my thigh. “I mean, okay. Like before.”

  I pulled out of his hold and rose from the chaise. Pacing back and forth, much like Matteo had done minutes before, I couldn’t meet my husband’s stare. “I have loved you with all of me for over ten years. I’ve given you pieces of myself that I never even knew existed before meeting you.” I stopped in my tracks and met his heated stare. “But something is off. I need out. Out of this house. Out of being a mother. Just for a little bit. I love my life. I love you. I love our children. I couldn’t be more blessed. But I need…I feel trapped, Brett. I can’t go on like this. I feel worthless. I feel like I’m not doing anything. I cook, clean, take care of the kids, take care of your needs and by the time that’s all done, I’m exhausted. I’m tired.” I inhaled a shaky breath.