Beautiful Pain Read online

  Mae: I would like that, Sir.

  This woman was messing with me. But damn if she wasn’t good. And she didn’t know it which made me want her that much more.

  Before I got an erection, I paid my bill, left the diner and headed home to my loft. Owning the top floor of an old apartment building, I had it reconstructed into one big open-spaced apartment. Like a penthouse suite.

  When I got to the brown bricked building, I greeted Mike, the security guard and made my way to the elevator. Unbuttoning the top three buttons of my shirt, I loosened my tie.

  Leaning my head from side to side, the tendons in my neck cracked. A shiver of pain rippled down my spine much like the soft caress of a whip. And when it struck, the nerve endings exploded with delight.

  The elevator doors dinged open and I trudged into the small area, all while images of a pale dark haired beauty slid into my mind. All I could picture was her naked form bent over in front of me. Her plump ass pressed back against me. My dick deep inside of her pussy. And my hands reigning blows on her rear. I could almost see her skin reddening under my touch. My palms tingled, itching with the need to cause her the beautiful pain I had been born to give.

  My dick hardened unexpectedly. Never in all my life had I become hard from mere thoughts of a woman. But Mae, she was something different. I could sense it from the first moment I met her.

  Unlocking my door, I pushed my way inside and threw my briefcase on the floor. Kicking the door closed, I grabbed my phone.

  Me: Thursday night. Be ready for 8pm.

  Mae: Yes, Sir. Anything special I should wear?

  Nothing. Mae was going to be the death of me. I palmed my erection. Even her text messages turned me on.

  Me: Something comfortable.

  Mae: Okay.

  Me: Sleep well, beautiful girl.

  Mae: You too, Sir.

  Throwing my phone on the coffee table, I headed to the kitchen and poured myself a tumbler of whiskey. Slamming it back, I let the warmth of the liquor wash over me while it settled somewhere deep in my gut. I jammed my hands in my front pockets, taking control of the urge to ease this ache that had grown since the first time I saw her.

  Marketa Dobry.

  That woman. As much as I wanted to rip into her, I needed to take it slow. I could sense her hesitance and as much as it bothered me, I wasn’t giving up. But I had to let her know she was in full control.

  No matter what happened, Mae would always have the upper hand.

  Matteo

  Warm lips wrapped around the head of my dick, swallowing the length of me until it reached the back of a throat.

  I groaned, grabbing a fistful of hair and shoved the mouth lower until lips touched the base of my cock. “Faster,” I snarled, thrusting my hips upwards.

  Moans and whimpers sounded around me as the woman sucked me off.

  Holding her head with two hands, I undulated my hips, shoving my cock deep in her mouth.

  She gagged, choking on what I had to give her and that only made me thrust harder and faster.

  Nails and teeth scratched at my skin making me swell to the point of painful.

  “Fuck!” I yelled, shooting my load into the warmth of her mouth. My gaze met a pair of dark eyes and that was when I saw her.

  Mae.

  My eyes shot open, a warm sweat coating my skin. My dick jumped, the tip reaching my belly button, begging for a rough release.

  I had nothing. No one to cure that itch. No one to curb that craving since meeting Mae only a couple of days before.

  I refused to call another woman. I would wait until I was lucky enough to have Mae. And even then, I wouldn’t deserve her. Nothing about me deserved her sweetness. My dick bobbed against my lower stomach.

  Fuck it.

  Wrapping a hand around the base, I pinched the tip igniting a growl to leave my lips.

  My phone rang and I imagined it was Mae telling me what to do. Telling me to stroke myself, bringing me over the edge of pure and ultimate bliss.

  My balls hardened, pushing up into my body. Giving one final squeeze, I shot my release onto my stomach. Mae’s name left my lips twice before I came down from the high of the orgasm.

  But it did nothing. It only made me want her that much more.

  Grumbling to myself, I took a quick shower and checked to see who called. Cathy left a message letting me know all of my appointments for Thursday were rescheduled.

  Perfect.

  Noting the time, I made coffee and decided to call the woman who had invaded my dreams.

  “Hello?”

  Mae’s husky morning voice made my dick twitch. “Good morning, beautiful girl.”

  Her breath caught. “Hi.”

  “How did you sleep?”

  “I was restless.”

  “Funny. So was I.” I went out onto the patio and stretched out on the chaise, watching the morning sun come up over the city.

  “Do you work today?”

  “I do. But not until later.” I could hear her moving around. “Are you still in bed?”

  “Yes.”

  Images of her wrapped in her blankets, naked, invaded my mind.

  “I like to drink my coffee and watch a little TV in bed before I start my day.”

  “A woman after my own heart. I need coffee to start my day or else I’m a monster.” It felt nice talking to a woman about anything besides sex. But I would show Mae exactly how much I loved to talk. In time.

  We chatted for a little longer. She responded to my questions, giving me little tidbits of her life. But the only thing I learned that I didn’t already know, was that Cello and she were close. And that she loved roses. Which was good to know.

  One thing I noticed as well in that five-minute conversation was that she didn’t laugh. Not once. Not even a snicker. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but it bothered me.

  “Well, sweet girl, I have to go.”

  “Wait. You never told me what you do for a living.”

  “I’m a psychologist.”

  “So you’re Dr. Matteo Santos?”

  A ripple of pleasure traveled over me. “Yes.”

  “Oh,” she breathed.

  I smiled. “Thursday.”

  “Thursday.”

  (Mae)

  “Are you nervous?” Nika asked me, brushing my long dark hair into a ponytail.

  “Yes.” But I knew I shouldn’t be.

  “Cello has been watching him,” she said, looking at me in the mirror.

  “I figured. My father and I are the only family he has left since his mom died.” It was like losing my mom all over again. It hurt. Every single day. And I couldn’t help but feel like I had to shut off my heart and feelings for fear of losing myself.

  “We love you and if Matteo hurts you, we will take turns gutting him.” Nika smiled, kissing my head.

  “I know, honey.” I gave her a hug because I knew it was the right thing to do. The moment called for a friendly embrace even though it felt forced.

  She felt my body stiffen and held me at arm’s length. “It’s okay to feel what you feel.”

  “I don’t know how I feel,” I muttered, stepping out of her embrace.

  “I know.” She placed her hands on my shoulders and turned me towards the floor length mirror. “Beautiful.”

  I was wearing black tights with a white racer back tank top. It was comfortable like Matteo had asked.

  Nika handed me a grey sweater as the phone rang. She answered it, pressed a button and hung up. “He’s here.”

  My heart gave a start. I could do this. I could be normal and go on dates. I could live a life where I was happy.

  A hard knock sounded on the door a moment later.

  “I’ll answer it.” She squeezed my hand. “Take your time.” She gave me one final look and left my bedroom.

  I heard soft voices from the living room. Taking a breath, I braced myself and headed out to greet my date.

  Matteo stood at the doorway, holding a single red rose. �
��For you.”

  I closed the distance between us and accepted his gift, smelling the rose. “Thank you.” I inhaled the sweet scent of the flower, my heart warming that he remembered.

  “You’re welcome.” He smiled softly.

  We said goodbye to Nika and left the apartment, walking down the hall in silence.

  “You look beautiful, Marketa.”

  My cheeks heated. “Thank you. And you look handsome.” More like delicious. He was wearing beige pants with a light blue button down shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showcasing thick forearms. He was more than handsome. He was absolutely breathtaking. His tanned skin glowed under the contrast of the light colors.

  “Can I hold your hand?” he asked, his dark eyes sparkling under my scrutiny.

  I nodded, letting his fingers slip between mine. “You never asked me before.”

  “But now I am.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, inquisitive one, I want you to know that you are in control. No matter what, you will always have the upper hand.” He took the rose from me as we reached the elevator.

  The doors dinged open and I stepped inside.

  He stood in front of me and leaned a hand against the wall by my head. “Do I make you nervous?”

  Yes. “No.” I watched as he brought the rose up in front of my face.

  “Tell me how you feel right now,” he demanded lightly, brushing the rose down my cheek.

  “I don’t…I’m not sure.” The soft petals caressed my skin. The rose moved down the length of my jaw, over my collar bone and over the swell of my breasts.

  “You are beautiful,” he said, his voice deep and husky.

  My chest rose and fell with ragged breath.

  He moved the budding flower over my mouth, the sweet scent wafting into my nose. “Can I kiss you, Marketa?”

  Before I could think twice, I nodded. “Yes.”

  The corners of his lips turned up into a small smile. He leaned down and pinched my chin. Tilting my head, he brushed his mouth along mine.

  The shock that sparked between us snapped something inside of me. I needed to feel more. Standing on tip toes, I pushed my mouth against his. I had been craving him since I met him a week before. My body buzzed at the connection.

  A soft growl rumbled from his chest but he didn’t deepen the kiss.

  I frowned at the flutter of disappointment swimming through my belly.

  Matteo broke the kiss and rubbed his thumb over my mouth. “Who are you, beautiful girl?”

  “I could ask you the same thing.” With a shaky hand, I trailed it down his chest. His hard muscles rippled beneath the light fabric of his shirt.

  He grabbed my hand and kissed each of my fingers.

  “Matteo, I want—”

  The doors dinged open as I was about to tell him to kiss me again. Maybe it was a blessing because I could feel the small amount of control I had left slipping between my fingertips.

  My lips tingled, remembering the impact of his mouth on mine.

  “Ready for your first date, Mae?” he asked, smiling down at me.

  I nodded. My heart jumped in anticipation, not knowing what to expect.

  We made our way to his car. I was surprised to see a black SUV sitting before me. Matteo was the type of man to have a sexy sports car but when we sat in the large vehicle and it came to life, I retracted that thought. The SUV screamed power and domination much like its owner.

  Matteo kept his hand in mine even while we drove to wherever it was we were going. Our fingers were locked tight together and I felt…

  Safe.

  Matteo

  I could kiss her for hours. I wanted to memorize her body with every inch of mine. When she had pushed her mouth against mine, it took everything in me not to show her exactly what I wanted to do to her. But I couldn’t. Not yet. I didn’t want to scare her with my sadistic tendencies. I liked pain. But I liked delivering it more. To hear a woman whimper as my whip slashed against their skin, sent my blood racing.

  Something had happened to Marketa long ago. She was closed off. Emotionless. She was me in female form.

  My skin tingled, memories of a childhood I wanted so hard to forget, poured their way into my mind. A leather whip caressing my skin. Inching between my legs and the cheeks of my ass. My body heating. I wanted the bite of the whip against me. Even though I knew I shouldn’t. I craved the sting of my flesh reddening. It was wrong. So very wrong. I would be in control. One of these days. My thoughts would be mine and mine alone.

  “Matteo?”

  I jumped at the sound of Mae’s voice and spun on her.

  Her eyes widened.

  Not realizing we were already at the movie theater, I put the vehicle into park. “Mae,” I ground out through gritted teeth.

  She cupped my cheek. “Kiss me.”

  Inching my hand to the back of her neck, I tilted her head and paused.

  A breath left her on a soft gasp. “Please.”

  Her pleading sent a ripple of pleasure down my spine and straight to the head of my dick. Wrapping my free hand around her throat, I brushed my face into the crook of her neck. The scent of lavender filled my nostrils, easing my racing nerves. Memories I had kept hidden for years resurfaced as I saw a reflection of myself in Mae.

  “Matteo,” she said softly, scratching her nails through the hair at my nape.

  Something inside of me snapped. I crushed my mouth to hers, igniting a soft cry to leave her lips.

  She deepened the kiss, slipping her tongue into my mouth.

  Hmm…sweet girl wasn’t so sweet after all.

  Wanting to show her who was in control at that exact moment, I tugged her head back. Breaking the kiss, a slow smirk spread on my lips.

  Her mouth parted, her full chest rising and falling.

  That was when I realized I hadn’t inflicted any pain on her and yet I was still turned on. “I wish you could feel what you do to me,” I said, trailing kisses down the length of her jaw.

  “I…why can’t I?” She panted, leaning her head to the side.

  “Because I’m not doing this with you in my car.” I brushed my nose along her neck, scenting her. I couldn’t get enough of her smell.

  “Doing what?”

  Fuck. She was going to make this difficult. Either she was naïve or she was challenging me. Either way, I needed to be a gentleman. I needed to show her there was such a thing as a gentle touch. But my inner sadist ruled out. I would torment her. Get her so fucking wet, she would beg me to do all the nasty things to her I had been dreaming about since meeting her.

  “You’re going to be the death of me,” I purred in her ear.

  “You…you make me feel…”

  Our gaze locked and I couldn’t help but feel something switch between us.

  “Alive.” She kissed my palm, cupping it over her cheek.

  “I know what you mean.” I cleared my throat and placed a soft peck on her mouth. “Let’s go before we never leave this car.”

  She blushed and pushed open the door.

  Scrubbing a hand down my face, I adjusted my pants. I didn’t know how long I could last before I gave in.

  “Are you taking me to see a movie?” she asked as I came up beside her.

  “I am. I figured since you’ve never been on a date before, I would do the traditional one first. Movie, popcorn, candy…everything bad for you.” Including me.

  “It sounds wonderful.”

  “So tell me, what’s your favorite color?” I asked, holding Mae’s foot in my hand. It was hours later and we had gone back to my place after the movie. It was a cheesy comedy but I didn’t mind since I was more focused on Mae than the movie itself.

  “I like the color red,” she said, taking a sip of her wine.

  “So do I.” Mae was pale. I bet her skin would glow under the touch of my palm. My dick twitched.

  “Thank you for the date, Matteo.” Mae pulled her foot from my grasp and snuggled into my side.


  “Thank you, Mae.” I kissed her hair and took the glass of wine from her before placing it on the table. “I’d like to take you out again.”

  “Cello is having a karaoke night on Sunday.” She shrugged. “It could be fun. I work until five but I am free after.”

  Pinching her chin, I tilted her head. “It’s a date.”

  Mae wrapped her arms around my neck and brushed her mouth along mine.

  Slipping my hand to the small of her back, I pulled her against me.

  She sighed into my mouth, molding her soft form against my hard one. “Matteo,” she breathed.

  Pushing her onto her back, I covered her body with mine, her warmth coating me in a blanket of bliss.

  Mae arched under me, scratching her nails down my back.

  My heart jumped, a cold sweat racing down my spine. When she rubbed her hands back up to my shoulders, my nerves calmed down. Not taking the chance for her to touch a part of me I had kept hidden for years, I grabbed her hands and held them above her head. When I tightened my hold on her wrists, her eyes dilated.

  Testing my theory, I reached a hand to the foot of the couch and grabbed the leather cuff attached to a chain. The metal clanked, hitting the floor with a thud. “Don’t move, beautiful girl,” I coaxed, kissing her mouth and locked the cuff around her wrists with a click. “Do you like the feel of my leather on your skin?”

  “Yes.” She wrapped her legs around my wrist, pushing her hips against mine.

  I knew I should stop. I knew I should wait until we’ve dated for a little bit but I needed a taste. I needed to take back the control stolen from me years ago.

  “Have you ever been in control of someone’s sexual desires?” I asked her, trailing a finger from her collar bone down between her breasts.

  “No.” Her hands tightened on the cuffs.

  In all of my professional experience, I knew I shouldn’t have cuffed her so soon. She hardly knew me. And I hadn’t given her a safeword. God, she was making me lose my damn mind and forget everything I had learned.

  “Do you know what a safeword is?” I asked, pushing my fingers inside her top and exposed her breast.